New Tech??

 My phone has been acting up for a while, I have an iPhone XR and when I got it there was already about 4-ish years (unless my memory is severely damaged) of use on it. For an iPhone 4 years might as well be ancient, Apple is on the iPhone 18 at this point I think?? I'm pretty much closing in on a 10 year old phone. Lately it's been randomly saying there was no SIM available and I've been needing to go in and pop it in and out a few times, which at first I thought was because of a fall but then it kept happening and it wasn't even a bad fall. I had switched to the HMD Barbie flip phone for about 7 months actually BUT the phone worked kind of slow in a way and felt overall clunky and not great to be using as my everyday phone, then there's the issue of things on modern phones that I kind of need. At work they'll have me pull my phone out to download things, scan QR codes, and open documents sometimes which I can't do as well/at all on that flip phone. I was looking around for something I could actually use without needing to keep a second device on me just in case my phone couldn't do the thing I need a phone for, I saw the Gia phone and I have hopes for it I would really love one.

A lot of phones made today that are made to be nostalgic still have the vibe of something more modern and minimalistic and often make a fully "dumb" phone that knocks off actual necessities. I said I wanted less social media, not have a harder time accessing my bank account unless I have a separate device or have everything all the way down to the camera being slow. I know some people may think "well why not just delete social media" because it feels useless to have and spend money on a SMART phone (that more or less looks like the same rectangle as all other phones with yet another camera added onto it and IN MY OPINION boring cases) if I'm only gonna be using the most basic of basic apps for the most part, why not have a cuter phone that gets the job done. The size is also important to me, I don't like big phones even my phone now feels too big and newer iPhones are even bigger than that, the latest one literally flips to about a mini tablet size (I'm not even gonna touch on the fact that Samsung and Huawei did it first AND better). This phone overall excites me and I really hope I'm able to make it my main phone, fingers crossed because I do really need a new phone.

More info if you're also interested in the phone: https://www.giaphone.com/

Seasonal Depression (ALREADY!?)

 The autumn has barely kicked off and I already feel like crap I don’t know what’s up. I laid in bed and slept on and off until I had to get up to work, cant focus, cant stay interested in anything no matter what I try to distract myself with, it’s all really annoying. My grandma keeps accusing me of being pregnant to the point where it feels like she wants me to be so she can have an excuse to kick me out (because that was also a whole thing before) so I'm saving money just in case she decides to look for another reason even though I still have no idea where I’d go. I wanna say I feel kinda like a bum for not moving out yet but I have tried looking for apartments both with and without a roommate, no luck unfortunately. I also really need to get my permit, it’ll probably make that process easier since the majority of cheap places I found were a little far for me to be taking the bus to and from work every day and I'd prefer to just keep my current job. The persistence of my sadness makes me angry because everything I try to do that’s apparently supposed to work just doesn't and doing nothing makes me feel worse. I'm just gonna keep forcing myself to do things I usually enjoy until I enjoy doing them again.

Autumn/Halloween ཐི ₍^.ˬˬ.^₎ ཋྀ

 My friend is having a Halloween party, I'm still not sure what I'm gonna be but I still have about 2 weeks and we aren't really trying to go all out with our costumes for the party we just don't wanna NOT dress up for Halloween. I tried looking for costumes a couple days ago at Spirit Halloween but the only things I found that I would actually want were all sold out in my size </3, hopefully I'll be able to try again and I'll be positive or whatever but I'm not really expecting to find a good costume that close to Halloween. Other than that I'm supposed to go over some time next week to carve pumpkins with her, I can't remember the last time I carved a pumpkin I'm so excited I love feeling festive. There's also a spooky market I'm supposed to go to with my boyfriend this weekend which is already exciting but it's also being hosted by a spooky themed coffee shop, that's also exciting to me I love trying coffee.

I bought The Outlast Trials on a Steam sale and I wasn't expecting to like it as much as I did, my hours are rapidly climbing up to a loser no life level. Before that I was playing Stardew Valley but since buying it my farm has remained there untouched. I was also expecting to wayy more afraid of it but I got over it pretty fast, especially since I went straight for the x-ray and stun rigs + keep the slippers equipped so I can pretty much neglect the broken glass for the most part. I need to get a new laptop to play on. Out of desperation to play games I'm 100% overworking my current one, it's a Dell business laptop from 2018 with like a massive battery that I should probably lay to rest. I need to save at least $500 and try to find the one I'm looking at on sale somewhere, I'm looking at a laptop that's around $2k BUT I originally saw it when it was knocked down to $1k which is way more doable for me. I'm thinking about waiting for the holiday time to see if it's back on sale around then.

Anyways, Happy Fall.

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New Piercings + Future Piercings

 I went and got spider bites finally, I had to wait a little bit because I had gotten 2 of my wisdom teeth out and went on vacation shortly after so I didn't want a swollen healing lip the whole time. I was clocked almost immediately by my piercer too he put the dots on my face and erased them saying "no I don't like that I know exactly the look you're envisioning, you're thinking of that nevershoutnever kid right?" oh, damn. uhh well yeah.

I currently have an eyebrow piercing, a dermal under my right eye, stretched ears (currently at a boring 11.5mm), and now obviously the spider bites. I plan on getting them on both sides (shark bites), and two up on my top lip (angel bites), and I'm still thinking about it but for the sake of balance I may get a vertical labret and/or septum as well. For my ears I'm not 100% sure what my goal is I just now I wanna hit at least 16-18mm and get 2 more lobe piercings to stretch. I've never really been interested in cartilage piercings but I feel like they would look nice so if I get all the piercings I want and still feel that itch then I guess I'll go for it. 

So far this is the only piercing I've had that has actually started bruising or looking noticeably swollen, it doesn't really hurt I'm just very aware that there's two bars sticking through my lip. It's kind of like that feeling when you do your nails and they're done already but you still feel like you have to be careful about everything you do.

I Got Too Excited Finding a New Anime 💔

 I've been watching Dungeon Meshi at a pace I feel is both fast and slow enough to not binge it since I have enough to watch in between everything, but it quickly became one of my favorite shows at the moment and I was so excited to find an anime that didn't include some kind of aspect that was kind of weird or straight up uncomfortable that I moved through it faster than I was hoping. I can't stand when an anime is about a bunch of high school girls in sexual situations, tiny innocent fragile princess angel baby x big strong dark alpha CEO dynamics, bum dudes writing self insert stories about themselves (+ especially if it's with a whole group of girls), or 1000 year old children that are "technically" old enough to sexualize. I think the last anime/manga I genuinely enjoyed was Tokyo Revengers in my sophomore year of high school and even then it's mainly since I was having such a hard time finding something to watch/read around that time, so when I finally "finished" it (I dropped it and just started reading updates + spoilers on twitter because I felt like the story was starting to drag on) I just gave up on looking for anything else.

Even as a kid it made me uncomfortable I just didn't know how to put it into words. I've always preferred things that steer away from the categories I just mentioned, that's not to say I haven't seen/enjoyed some things that can fall under those categories but they're not really high up on the list of things I like (unless we're counting nostalgia as a factor). Fairy Tail is guilty of the fanservice I just think there's enough actual plot to allow me to move past it, Free! is literally just half naked high school boys who ALL fueled my interest in yaoi at 11 years old but that's another conversation, Love Stage was my very first anime which technically could count as my first BL but I was too #woke (uninformed) to notice or care that they were gay. Not once did I go "they're both boys" I just saw the way they looked at each other and little devil horns sprouted from my head, gayness was so normal to me having multiple gay family members that I didn't register that there was even a difference until I got older and started noticing people going back and forth about how "disgusting" being gay was and was like "lol whats that" with a trio of lesbians right behind me. 

Back to Dungeon Meshi though, I'm nearing the end of the first season and I'm only now realizing that it is the ONLY season and the next one won't be coming out until October of next year </3. I can't think of anything about it that I don't like aside from Laios rubbing me slightly the wrong way when he talks about his sister sometimes, like when he was talking about her not adventuring with him anymore like a wife divorcing her husband for another man. I was sat there like "babe... that's your sister, I know you love her but there's no way you actually expect to be attached at the hip 24/7 and are talking about it like it was the worst day of your life". It gives me the same vibes as boy moms who don't want their fully grown sons to move out. Fear not though I AM aware that he has a messy relationship with his parents which is why it's not an "ick" for me, I only bring it up because their relationship with their parents isn't actually something they really get into early on I got that kind of spoiled for me except it wasn't a spoiler; Since it was the only thing rubbing me the wrong way I gave it the benefit of the doubt and assumed it was probably trauma related and just looked it up so it wouldn't keep bothering me. Anyways my search for more D&D feeling anime begins.