The autumn has barely kicked off and I already feel like crap I don’t know what’s up. I laid in bed and slept on and off until I had to get up to work, cant focus, cant stay interested in anything no matter what I try to distract myself with, it’s all really annoying. My grandma keeps accusing me of being pregnant to the point where it feels like she wants me to be so she can have an excuse to kick me out (because that was also a whole thing before) so I'm saving money just in case she decides to look for another reason even though I still have no idea where I’d go. I wanna say I feel kinda like a bum for not moving out yet but I have tried looking for apartments both with and without a roommate, no luck unfortunately. I also really need to get my permit, it’ll probably make that process easier since the majority of cheap places I found were a little far for me to be taking the bus to and from work every day and I'd prefer to just keep my current job. The persistence of my sadness makes me angry because everything I try to do that’s apparently supposed to work just doesn't and doing nothing makes me feel worse. I'm just gonna keep forcing myself to do things I usually enjoy until I enjoy doing them again.
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